Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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