I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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