I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
