Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize