Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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