well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize