Christians are straight up FREAKS
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
