I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
