friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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