like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
