I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I wear drunk well.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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