I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize