You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
