yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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