Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
