Well apparently he's into motor boating.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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