SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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