I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
