Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
