problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
