After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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