Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
