the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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