Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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