Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
