you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
