HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
