Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
