If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
