Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
