"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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