Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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