Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
