You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
