I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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