Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
