ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
