Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
