I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
