He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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