I just saw a hot homeless man
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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