If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
