dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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