So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
