I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
