I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
