Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
