If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
is it fun? or sober?
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