kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
