She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
