K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
