allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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