He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
