i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
