We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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