you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
