are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
