Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
