we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize