So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
