If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
