Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
