he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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