I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
