Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
