Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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