shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
