It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
