one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
